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Identifying the Attributes of Marital Love Part 4

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Identifying the Attributes of Marital Love 3

Today I want us to focus on the role of Phileo in marriage. Phileo is another kind of love different from Agape.

 In John 3:35, the Bible says, “The Father loves (Agapao) the Son, and has given all things into His hand.” 

   While in John 5:20, the Bible says, “For the Father Himself loves (Phileo) the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself does; and He will show Him greater things than these, that you may marvel.”

It is obvious that God the Father and God the Son shared two different kinds of love. We have already discussed Agape Love in a marriage situation. Now we will look at Phileo.

What is Phileo?

Phileo means the following:

1. Tender affection

2. To be a friend to

3. To be fond of an individual or something

4. Personal attachment

5. To treat affectionately

Husbands and wives should learn to be fond of each other. They need to cultivate genuine friendship with one another. This can be built through fellowship and consistent communication. They have to be transparent to each other because of Phileo Love.

The Bible says, “For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things He Himself does.” Where there’s Phileo, there’s nothing to hide. This builds intimacy because it has been said that intimacy means, “into me see.”

   In a marriage where there are so many secrets there is no intimacy or deep friendship.

In Genesis 2:24-25, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” Intimacy demands transparency.

You have to be open. You have to real. If you seek to develop a strong bond in marriage. So long as there’s a secret in between both of you, you won’t blend well. You won’t jell. There would be something hindering your flow of communication and distorting your conversations.

You will always be misunderstanding yourselves. You will find it difficult to flow with each other. There will be little or nonexistent peace and joy in your marriage and in your family. 

   It’s because of the secret. It is eating you up. You have to be naked and not ashamed to bond properly. You have to be transparent to be able to have a strong spiritual, mental and emotional connection.

Physical connection is easy. It can happen in one night. The real issue is the spiritual, mental and emotional connection. Once this is achieved, a marriage will enjoy cohesive unity, abundant peace and exuberant joy.

God ordained marriage to be a foretaste of heaven. He wants your home to be an extension of heaven on earth, full of life, health, blessings, joy and peace. But this can only happen when we seek to create the atmosphere of heaven by letting love rule and reign in our hearts and in our homes.

Titus 2:4 NKJV

that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,

Phileo also means fondness. 

  Couples have to schedule time to be together. You need time alone to talk to each other about the deepest concerns of their hearts. They should make time to dote on one another, lavishing attention and affection on each other. 

  They should learn to affirm and praise one another. Sing to each other. Make your spouse your screensaver from time to time. Post their pictures and say a kind word about them. That is Phileo at work. Selah


Eniyekpemi Fidelis O,

AWH, Blogs 

Preserving the Faith of the Apostolic Generations.


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